How To Embrace Ourselves As A Woman In Her 40s blog post featured image of a blonde woman, close up, smiling and looking off to the side

How To Embrace Ourselves As A Woman In Her 40s

Becoming more intentional in every way possible has opened my eyes to SO many things. For instance, I wasn't fully embracing myself and felt terrible all the time. So I set out to change that.


Girl Planted By Bri Alli Is All About Embracing Cozy Intentionalism To Create The Home, Life + Personal Brand You Love

Learning how to embrace ourselves may feel really awkward at first. But if you found yourself suddenly a woman in her 40s possibly questioning all of the previous 3 decades of your life, it’s more important than ever to LOVE who you are, as you are.

Embracing ourselves as we age is important for many reasons, ESPECIALLY as a woman. Today we will chat a little more about HOW to start showing ourselves some love.

If you are a woman in her 40s and landed here on a Girl Planted journal entry, it’s not by accident; Hello! I’m hopeful that you leave my online home today feeling like the empowered, beautiful human being I know you are.

So…let’s get into it!


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Aging Is Natural

It’s essential to understand that aging is a natural thing that everyone goes through.

Aging is a journey that matches each individual uniquely. And with aging, you’ll have new experiences, new wisdom, and beautiful growth.

When we embrace ourselves as we age, we have to accept these changes, both physical and emotional, and even if it’s difficult, learn to appreciate them.

How To Appreciate Aging As A Woman In Her 40s

I have to share a personal story with you, for you to understand where I’m coming from and why I’m so passionate about this topic. My mother passed away in her early 40’s and it forever changed my life.

Losing a loved one is beyond difficult. Losing a parent whom you were incredibly close to, is a whole different kind of pain. My mom taught me the most valuable life lesson after she had passed away at age 42.

The easiest way to appreciate aging as a woman in her 40’s is to identify and acknowledge the gift of time.

Every single day you get to wake up is a gift; it’s up to you to embrace that gift or let it just simply pass you by.

This is easier said than done, I know. Some days are naturally SO difficult that you wish the day away, counting down the hours until x y or z; Right?

In my journey of self-discovery, acceptance, love and appreciation I have started making an effort to CHOOSE joy. Even when those impossibly difficult days hit me square in the nose and knock me down.

I still choose joy on those tough days and thank the creator of my universe for the gift of time. Even if I still count down the minutes until I can lay in my bed and rest.

Do this over and over and over, until it’s natural for you to wake up and feel grateful for the new day ahead. You’ll start to see more joy and beauty in the world around you and in yourself, too.

bri alli self portrait in a you are enough tank top for the journal entry titled "How To Embrace Ourselves As A Woman In Her 40s"

Bri Alli Selfie – You Are Enough Tank Top by TBE Apparel

Fun random fact, I designed a ribbon words breast cancer awareness tee for Mandy, the owner, several years ago. That project meant so much to me.  

I didn’t see it on her website, so she might have retired that one, but has so many great designs, especially for mamas, nurses and teachers!

Why do i struggle to accept myself?

This is a question I found myself pondering often, over the years. It was an automatic response to look in the mirror and put myself down. I didn’t even hesitate, either.

I’d never treat another human being that way, so why did I struggle so much to treat myself with kindness?


My trauma started at childhood; Age 5 to be exact. So for 35 years, I allowed everyone else’s opinions, voices and meanness ultimately shape who I was. 

I now know that I’m an autistic woman and I cannot fault my parents for not knowing or seeing the signs.

I didn’t even suspect I was on the spectrum, until my nonverbal autistic son was about 6 years old and I’d see so much of myself in him. He’s almost 10 now and I’m proud to say that we are both autistic and beautiful just the way we are, struggles and all.

Learning that I was on the spectrum in my 40’s was a game changer. I was finally able to look in the mirror and see myself with new eyes and with a softer demeanor. 

Paired with the acknowledgement that every single day given to me is a gift, I genuinely wanted to learn who I was and unmask. I wanted to start working through all the trauma that I endured due to having to mask my entire life.  

It won’t be easy for me, but it’s a start.

I think as a woman, our society pushes unrealistic opinions, pressures and this idea of perfection onto us. We have to look a certain way, act a certain way, and mold into the unrealistic beauty standards that come from seeing photoshopped women everywhere.

It took me getting super vulnerable and super honest with myself (i.e. why am I actually mean to myself?) to start embracing who I actually am.

We simply must embrace ourselves as we are right this moment, look at ourselves with new eyes so to speak and embrace the idea of aging being a beautiful gift.

If we can do this, we will learn to love and appreciate our mind, our bodies, our lives regardless of what society tells us is beautiful.

If we can learn to focus on our inner beauty and really get to know ourselves, self-love, acceptance and joy will be present every day.

Outward appearances will slowly start to be something we focus less on, in order to honor the woman we are on the inside. And because we feel beautiful on the inside, we ARE beautiful on the outside.

What Can I Do To Start Embracing Myself?

There are SO many things you can do to start embracing yourself! Before I share a list of ideas with you, I’d like for you to consider starting with meditation first.


We must embrace our inner, divine goddess and celebrate her! She’s pretty incredible, after all. The best way that I’ve found to do this (personally) is by meditating.


We all have an inner divine goddess waiting to bloom. She is sensual and sultry and sexy and unafraid. She is everything we could ever want or hope to be on the inside and the outside.


I dare you to embrace her with open arms and give her the love and attention she aka you deserve.

The Ultimate List! 20 Ways To Embrace Ourselves As An Aging Woman

  1. Practice self-care every single day.
  2. Celebrate ALL your accomplishments, big and small.
  3. Surround yourself with positive people and good vibes.
  4. Embrace your wisdom and share words of advice lovingly, with another.
  5. Learn something new.
  6. Stay active and exercise regularly.
  7. Jump into personal fashion and dress in a way that makes you feel confident.
  8. Take INTENTIONAL time for yourself, every day if possible. 
  9. Identify and focus on your many strengths.
  10. Practice gratitude as often as possible.
  11. Embrace your changing body with compliments and positive affirmations. 
  12. Let go of negative self-talk and your inner mean girl. She’s no longer welcome in your head or your heart. 
  13. Connect with like-minded individuals in your community.
  14. Set achievable goals, big and small.
  15. Spend more intentional time in nature. Connect with Mother Nature and her many gifts.
  16. Cultivate a fulfilling hobby or higher purpose.
  17. Prioritize your mental health. Find a therapist and embrace that time to let yourself be…yourself. Ya know?
  18. Stay socially engaged IN PERSON. Ditch the social media for a bit. 
  19. Focus on the present moments as they happen. 
  20. Really understand that your life and journey of aging is unique to you and that should be celebrated, even if you aren’t in a place of feeling joy just yet.

Final Thoughts

Embracing ourselves as a woman in her 40s means we can and will be more confident in ourselves and our abilities.

I feel like when we reach our 40s, we’ll be more open to taking more risks, trying new things and pursuing passions without fear of judgement.

I also feel that if we truly get to know ourselves inside and out, as we are right this moment, we’ll feel lighter, happier and incredibly empowered!

Thank you for visiting me today. Won't you consider becoming an email friend and staying in touch? Get your scroll on, lovely, and sign up with your favorite email address! xo

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